Go away.
Go eat with your family or friends. Snuggle with someone. Watch the Macy's parade on tv.
Oh, ok. If you really MUST spend time at the computer, at least spend it watching this little trinket. I don't know if it's a legitimate Kikoman thing or not, but even so, SOME Japanese person came up with it.
And here is a translation of the song.
(a few people I've seen with this: Asparagirl, John, and someone else that I can't remember.)
I try not to spend too much time gushing about how cute my smaller family members are, but this picture is a killer:
My cousin's the little Buddha on the far left hand side. She's also in various places in the wedding photos, I believe.
It's been a year and a half since I've done any really active straight ally-type activities, but I'm going to go do a campus talk thing tonight. I'm really excited, it's been forever since I've Zapped... y'know, I just looked up online to find a link for Zaps, to explain them, and apparently it's just an Ithaca/Cornell thing. I'm sure there are similar programs out there, but they don't have the same name for them, I guess. Anyway, it's a big part of the outreach work that the LGBT groups both at Ithaca and Cornell did: a group of (ideally), someone speaking up from the L,B,G,T,Q,A, and any other person that identifies as one of "the letters", but usually about 5 people, giving a presentation in which we talk about the process by which we came out to ourselves or others as a whatever (straight allies included). Incidentally, organizing these were pretty funny, I always enjoyed hearing someone at a Bigayla meeting yelling out "I need a lesbian on Tuesday morning!"
Anyway, folks ask questions, which turns into a pretty no-holds-barred type of thing, but it's supposed to be. It's a good experience. I'm kind of nervous about this one, though. I probably wouldn't be, except that today there was a short article in the student newspaper about a group that wants to bring LGBT students here to the university to see what it's like. They're having a hard time trying to get funding from the University. I was walking around today and heard some guy referring to it, saying "What the fuck? Go to class, don't tell anyone you're a homo. Why am I supposed to pay for that?" (sorry 'bout the language, that's exactly what he said). It took me a few seconds to register what he'd said, and by the time I turned around to start an argument, he was gone.
It just reminded me that this place is a lot more homophobic than Ithaca. I mean, EVERYWHERE is less open-minded than Ithaca (where the mayoral elections are usually Dems vs. Greens), but still, the fact that this guy thought that was he was saying was acceptable to say in the middle of a group of people walking to class really pissed me off. And made me nervous about tonight.
I really don't want to go off on someone.
If you have trouble getting up and going in the morning, as I usually do, may I suggest the soundtrack to Run Lola Run?
It certainly gets me zipping around. A hundred thousand marks in twenty minutes! now Now NOW!
Losing my mind less today, partly because I got an extra few hours of sleep that I desperately needed (because my ride out here decided to leave later than planned). Ahh.
Jeremy bought another Harry Potter book on tape--we were listening to it on the way back last night. Amuses, as always.
I wish I had more to talk about right now--I certainly have the time to put in long, long entries. But I've previously explained the boredom and trancey-ness that happens in this building. Fortunately, I explained it while not actually in the building, so I managed to do so in an entertaining way. With a picture, even! Jason (my ride out here) and I were talking about what we do in the various amounts of downtime that we have. We agreed that bringing papers or schoolwork out is pretty much a lost cause, although studying for my biology test on Monday wasn't too bad, because I hadn't been here for too long. Now, I do need to study some for a test I have next Monday, but blargh, I have next-to-no desire for it.
Still playing with electrons for many, many hours in a row. Mmf. Insanity's starting to kick in: all last night, I kept dreaming about changing my samples, setting up the vacuum pumps, taking data. I realized I was dreaming when the vacuum measuring thingie said 10^-12.
It's usually about 4x10^-11. I said "my vacuum is never that good! I MUST be dreaming." Sad but true.
Went and saw Harry Potter with J last weekend. It was cute. One funny thing was the way they'd all grown up so much: if you don't know much about the series except that it involves children, and magic, here's some background. The main three kids all start at the wizard school at the same time, and the first book is their first year, in which they're 11. Now everyone knows that 6th-8th grade is the time that boys start growing all kinds of hair and sounding different, etc., etc., but for the first 10 minutes or so, a lot of folks in the audience were giggling about just how much they'd changed: one kid's voice dropped a full octave, another must have grown a foot: he went from being the one of the shortest to one of the tallest. It's kind of strange how much this changed my perspective of the movie: in particular, in my suspension of disbelief. The first movie, there are three little babies running around, defeating trolls and dark lords. It was better than if they had gone the 90210 route and had 25-year olds playing them, but it was still kind of disconcerting.
This time around it seemed a lot more reasonable. They're still kids, but for some reason, a change in voice seems like it should be a prerequisite in attempting to defeat a dark powerful wizard.
I'm babbling. I'm also somewhat worried that I'm going to wake up in a few minutes and have to go through the whole darn day all over again: this is already the third or fourth time I've done this stuff since last night, it seems like a possibility.
Beam time.
Cell Bio exam tonight.
Wish me luck.
A quote from a member of my group: "It's always so weird when you see science girls wearing... girl stuff."
I'm dressed like a second-grade teacher today, only with butt-kicking clogs on, instead of sneakers. This is, apparently, cause for gaping mouths.
I can look like an actual girl!!! :) I'm don't usually go in for particularly gendered outfits, but today's a Special Day, so I may as well look the part.
Time to go impress the nice people at the NSF and convince them to give the materials science professors lots and lots of money.
We both feel better after copious amounts of sleep. I still have a little wierd sore spot in my throat--it feels more like a very localized muscle spasm than a sore throat per se, but it's still not comfy.
I'm technically supposed to be in 3 places at once this afternoon, but two of them will have to wait. I haven't quite mastered the art of teleportation yet. I've narrowed it down to 2, but I can't decide which is more important.
Jeremy made pumpkin-chocolate chip cookies yesterday, after a long afternoon nap revived him. Perfect (the cookies, although J's not half bad). Just doughy enough, and just the right amound of chips. And no, I won't let you have any. They're all for me.
J's home sick again, and I'm slowly descending, which is really bad. I need another 4 or 5 days of relative health before I can sit and stare into space for awhile. So, time to chug the vitamin C.
In the meantime, you may play with this website that has all the Ellis Island records online. To look around is free. I'm not sure what you get when you pay. I found my father's father's father, which was pretty neat. Came from the east coast of Sicily at the age of 24. Of course, my last name is fairly uncommon, so there were only about 50 people to look through. It would have been a lot harder if my name was something like "O'Brian".
I gotta ask my dad about the names of all my other great-grandparents on that side, I don't even know their names. I'm pretty sure they all came over in that generation. On my mom's side, I think it goes back another generation or two beyond that.
Geneology is fun. Go play.
I've been writing some really long entries lately. Hope you've been enjoying them. I'll probably be pretty bored next week when I have my beam time, so maybe I'll write a lot then, too. The type of measurements that I'm taking require a lot of "there time"--I'll be not-home for 12-14 hours a day, most likely. However, 90-95% of that is sitting, listening to the hum. It takes 2 hours of "work" for the vacuum to be good enough. "Work" means that you push a button, wait an hour, push another, and wait some more. Measurements consist of 1 minute of doing the same thing you've done 35 times so far, waiting 20 minutes, and then doing it again. It's both repetitive and time consuming-whee! Plus, there's something about that building--the lack of windows, the consistent hum of electrons, the nervous, sleep deprived grad students--that gives it a somewhat unearthly feeling. As if the beam gobbles both your time... AND your soul.
I get the feeling that most of the folks there would enjoy a touch of hominess, since a lot of folks come from far away, like Canada and Wales. Someone sitting in front of their bigass steel chamber sewing little flowers together might be just the pick-me-up they need. So, I was thinking of bringing some sewing with me. At least I'll have plenty of time to get some of my quilt flowers stitched together, if I feel so inclined.
At the synchrotron right now.
Booorrr-rriinggg.
As is to be expected, the first day is pretty much a loss. We can't get started until noon because the chamber is still cooling down. Why? Ok, time to go into Bill Nye mode:
Here's your physics lesson for today:
There are many science things that require what is known oh-so-technically as "high vacuum" or "ultra-high vacuum". Most often this kind of high vacuum is needed for applications where you're throwing really tiny things (atoms or electrons) around, and you want them to be going in a more-or-less straight line. If the vacuum isn't as good, there's more stuff between the thing throwing electons around, and the place you want the electrons to go. If things get bumped around a little bit, they're not going to all be going in a perfectly straight line, or get diverted entirely. So, high vacuum=good. Since a synchrotron is basically a ring of electrons spinning really fast for hours at a time (fresh electrons get added every 4-8 hours), you need a pretty good vacuum: up to 10^-11 torr. Atmospheric pressure is around 760 torr, so this is pretty dang tiny. Grease from a fingerprint prevents you from getting that low. But the biggest problem is water. You can wear rubber gloves when putting your samples in, but there's just tons and tons of water in the air, and when you start pumping, it condenses on the walls inside the chamber, and, eventually, freezes. It takes FOREVER to get rid of (and keeps the pressure fairly high) unless you do something called "baking out" the chamber. Baking out sounds exactly like what it is: You heat the tar our of the thing while pumping. The water evaporates, and you get a better vacuum.
The chamber got baked out last night, and so we're waiting for it to cool down. "Hopefully it should be ready by noon" is what the tech guy said. So we sit around, drinking our caffeine of choice (hot chocolate for me), and waiting.
And waiting.
That's why this is so long. At least I have some homework I can do.
Beam time tomorrow. Not mine, but me and the guy I'm splitting the time with are going to get re-trained simultaneously, so we don't have to waste any more time than absolutely necessary remembering which order to put things under vacuum in. I'm actually (finally) looking forward to it. J and I drove out there this morning. He's going to be picking me up at the end of my days there, and it's in the middle of nowhere, so I figured it'd be better to go out there with him during the day and show him, so that when he goes out by himself late at night (LATE at night), he'll be able to make it okay.
When I talked to my mom yesterday, she reminded me that I haven't given her (or anyone, for that matter) a holiday gift idea list. 'Course, no one's given ME one either, but no matter. An list will come soon via email, to those of you that usually buy things for me.
I went to church with J this morning. He's been "shopping around" at various churches since he's been here, since he likes to go sing the songs and eat the potluck. I guess this is the one he likes the best--he's been there a couple of times now, and the friends that we cat-sat for over the summer go there. I'm not so into church, but meh. I'm willing to join him once in awhile. It's kind of funny, I was really uncomfortable most of the time, being at this pretty liberal, student-focused Protestant church, because I didn't know what was going on, and it wasn't the kind of thing where you could sit in a corner and not participate if you didn't know your place.
I realized that in some ways, I'd actually be MORE comfortable at a Catholic Church. Although I disagree with large chunks of their values, if I have to go to church, it's nice to at least know all the call-and-responses, and what part of the service goes where. Today was just wierd, to me. People standing up and talking about all of their personal problems, asking for prayers. The main preist-y guy (reverend, pastor, whatever) didn't even get up and say anything except the sermon, the rest of it was just run by layfolks in jeans.
I dunno. There's something comforting in keeping some mysticism in the whole thing. I spent so much of my childhood experiencing religion as this unattainable thing: right there in the hallways, pictures and statues of saints that NONE of us could EVER be as good as. The Joyful, Sorrowful, Glorious (and now Luminous) Mysteries you meditate on when saying the Rosary. You're not supposed to understand how, that's kind of the whole point.
I think that that thread still runs through my own spritual thoughts about Things, even though my current view of God is largely seen through the lens science: the more detailed a view of the world I get, the more awe-inspired I am by the Creative Force that got it all going. Detailed and beautiful, but still unattainable. I have a hard time trying to imagine a God that listens: y'know, the humanist kind, that answers prayers, leads nomadic bands through the desert and lights bushes on fire and makes them talk. So being in a room full of people that are expressing *exactly* that was kind of strange. Not that Catholics don't believe in that kind of God, it's just that the conversation is a little more lopsided.
Blarg.
A good soothing evening last night. J and I walked over to the co-op grocery store we go to. Laughed at the Hemp Waffles (food that makes you hungrier!). Almost bought a box of Oatie O's, just because it would be one of the only nouns I might actually name by its true name with some regularity. A little explanation is in order on that one.
I've always had a hard time thinking of words. I have a pretty good sized "backwards vocabulary": if you show me a 50 cent word, I can tell you what it means. Comes in handy on standardized tests. My problem has always been coming up with the words in the opposite direction. Simple words like "keyboard" and "hair conditioner" are often beyond my reach 3 or 4 times a day. Not to mention trying to give a scientific talk and not being able to think of somewhat more technical words like "amorphous" or "resonance frequency". When I blank on a word while giving a science talk, I'm pretty much screwed, unless I manage to get someone to ask a question using that particular word. But in the real world, I'm more comfortable with sounding like a total empty-headed nitwit. I'm not one, so why worry? The words I use to get around the words I can't think of usually fall under the category of what Jeremy calls "Adjective-y nouns". Thus, "conditioner" somehow becomes "Shiny Shampoo", paddle boats available for rent at the student union become "Footie boats", and a keyboard becomes a "type-y thing".
No, really. Just ask anyone I talk to. I'm a one-person NewSpeak translator.
So, "Oaty Bits" seems like one of the very few things in this word where, even if I forget the name, I'll end up naming it correctly anyhow.
Incidentally, this problem has recently spread to my ability to name local places. There's a place a few blocks from us called "Pinkus McBride's", it's a 7-11 type of store. Poor Pinkus, whoever he or she is. I call that store Whoo-sie McWhatzit or Poopy McStinky, Filthy McNasty or Spanky McFarland. The coffeeplace a few blocks in the other direction, I can never remember what its name is. At this point, I don't particularly care, because it ought to be named either Happy Coffee or Zippy Coffee, as it seems that these are the only names that come into my head when I think of it.
At least my mom also has this particular disease, at least when it comes to stores. There's a natural food store that opened near where she lives about a year ago that I only know as "Happy Harvest", sometimes "Healthy Harvest". That's not what it's called, but that's what mom always says when she can't remember its real name. (Thirty seconds of Googling just revealed that its name is Wild Oats). Of course, when I ask her something about the place, I can't remember the name she gave it, so I usually call it "Hippy Harvest". It's a neverending circle of tribute bands names.
So, for the last week or so I've been working on my NSF fellowship application. It's been a large portion of the recent stress. It's only in, oh, maybe the last month that I've been able to accurately describe what my research is to various non-science or differently-scienced folks. So trying to explain it when It Counts is freak-inducing. The package (all online) had to be sent in by 5pm, local time, today.
When did I click "submit"?
4:42.
Whee! At least it's in, and it's done, and it was on time. I definitely want to go for a nice walk and eat some ice cream tonight, or something. Fortunately J is feeling better today--apparently he just needed a 4 hour nap to "reboot", as he put it.
Here are things that have happened while I've been mentally away:
J's little sister is going to be in Rome next fall! She's an architecture student, and her school has an exchange program there. J and I and their parents are all planning on going. I finally have a good kick-in-the-pants reason to learn Italian! The U. here has minicourses of languages for travelers, so I'm going to sign up for one of those in the spring, so I can ask where the bathroom is.
And, I already know the swear words, so if they don't tell me, or call me a stupid American, I can pee on their shoes and call them nasty words.
Went out with J, Edna, and one of Edna's friends last weekend. They fed us first, though, and it was very nummy. Edna made avocado smoothies, which I didn't think I would be particularly fond of, but yum. She made so much, though: they're so rich, more than a shotglass full is pushing it. mmmm.
After food, we went and saw Spirited Away. Really neat movie, I highly reccomend it to anyone that is entertained by trippy animation. Green heads that roll around on the floor and go "mmeup mmeup"! Tiny transfigured Buggie/Bird and Mouse/Child! Living ash motes! Scrawny-legged children! I could keep exclaiming, but I won't. It's a lot of fun, a LOT of fun. Go get it on video when it comes out, if it's not showing near you (it seems to have a pretty limited run, although Disney's distributing it in the US).
All right, time to go home, play Pharoah, and grin foolishly.
Death is delayed! Turns out, I now have a week and a half to do something I thought I'd have 2 days to do.
"Something" would take a normal mortal at least 4 days to do.
So, hurrah. I'm still busy, but I can stop bitching now about not having enough time to write. And using the word "dead" or "death" a LOT (I just went through the last week or so of entries, oy).
On to trying to think of something to write about.
How about a new meme? It's lazy, but it'll get me back into the routine.
Ok, I'm in. Ten people (living) that I'd like to have dinner with, in no order other than that which I thought of them:
1: Ringo.
2: John Stewart
3: David Sedaris
4: George Whitesides (give me a postdoc someday!)
5: Conan O'Brian
6: Mike Nelson
7: Nathan Lane
8: Michael Moore
9: Roseanne
10:John Irving
Some themes I notice (oy, self-analysis):
-Mostly men.
-Mostly funny-types. I mean, I would hold up my end of the conversation and all, but to me the best meals are those you spend most of the time trying to keep from coming out of your nose. This is why I said Ringo, not Paul. I mean, I'm already a vegetarian, y'know?
-Honestly, I don't think that any of these people would be particularly into being my friend. Assuming these dinners happened in a totally off-chance kind of way ("Hey! You there! Girl with brown hair! Want to go get a bite?" it'd be a lot of fun from my end, but would probably end in a kind of "Well, have a good life" kind of way.
Just because I think they're funny doesn't mean I want to just hang out with them all the time. -I think this list would be totally different on some other day. I'm not feeling particularly self-important right now, so it's a lot of B-string famous people that would amuse me for a few hours. Some other day you might see a lot of Nobel Prize winners. Or Chippendale dancers. Or the Rich (if I can't eat them, at least I can eat with them, right?) Anyway, it's more indicative of "T, busy at 2pm in November" than any constant thing. The permanent folks would probably be Ringo and David Sedaris. I love them too much to not have them there.
Oh, and on a totally different unrelated tangent, Mr. Boy is sick--sore throat and general blah-ness, which seems to be going around. I must go soon and tend to him like the good mother hen I am.
Dead, dead, dead.
And with a cavity! I went to the dentist's today, I guess I have a cavity in one of my wisdom teeth. If it's so wonderful that I still have them, how come I can't keep them clean?
Will be voting tonight, though, despite my distrust of the whole system. And my death.
I finish one thing, two more things pop up. Ack! But I finally actually fully completed something. That's a start. So I'm celebrating, by playing here. Hello!
I've been thinking about actually getting my own domain name: Tchemgrrl.com is still available, and since I've NEVER not been able to use that name when I sign up for things, I don't think it'll be going anywhere. I really have no idea how expensive such a thing is, though. I mean, this is free, even though the annoying pop-ups are, well, annoying. And I'm not sure if my coding skills are up to the challenge of some totally independent system. We'll see. Let me know if popups are ruining your life, though.